All tagged 0.5
Funky in a way that made me immediately check the sell-by date. There's a lingering, acidic / pukey flavor that is present throughout and it's a bad matchup for my personal tastes. Chocolate plus almond plus coconut is an ambitious combination from a flavor standpoint, and I'm not sensing any synergy here. Try if you must, avoid if you can.
Lead-like dull flavor, with no semblance of what makes chocolate milk enjoyable-- some sweetness, cocoa, creaminess, etc-- none of those are remotely represented here. There's a mineral-esque, clinical, hold-your-nose-and-take-your-medicine quality to the 'flavor', and an egregiously chalky and drying finish that, as far as I can tell, is an effort to curb that pre-vomit salivation.
A sludgy, chalky disaster that only gets worse when you put it in your mouth. Sure, it delivers a ton of protein without the calories, at the mere cost of your pleasure and self-respect. It's overly fakey-sweet, with zero salt note to bring a resolution to it. There is at least a noticeable cocoa flavor if you can sift through the other garbage to appreciate it.
Less flavorful overall than its ‘classic’ counterpart, and when the flavor is generally bad, less of it is a good thing. The cocoa is more noticeable, but there isn’t much salt, sweetness, or cream to help develop it or add dimension. It’s watery and highly chalky as well— I appreciate the packaging and the ‘better for you’ endeavor, but from a flavor / drinking experience standpoint, it’s significantly below the typical ‘bad’ chocolate milk.
Easily the worst version of Yoo-hoo I’ve tried. The bouquet alone should be an effective defense mechanism, but should you go in for a sip, rest assured it will be one of very few. It’s an egregious miss—assuming the target was cookies & cream and not soured acetone. This is terrible.
Painfully sweet with a stevia sledgehammer that blasts you early and refuses to leave. Everything else feels irrelevant by comparison, and none of it strong enough to recoup the damage done by the sweetness. Approaching undrinkable.
A chemical-esque chalky concoction, this may be more enjoyable to take as a suppository. The earthy flavor is more ‘garage sweepings’ than ‘arable countryside’ and the sweetener is distracting (perhaps a good thing in this case). I get that it’s low calorie— but it just reinforces the adage that there’s no biological free lunch.
Salty and ferrous, as though someone poured watered-down clam chowder through a rusty gutter and boxed it up for you. The basketball player on the front of the box is blatantly exposing both armpits, perhaps a subtle harbinger of what’s inside.
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Nothing like the Hershey’s I’ve had elsewhere— this is cloyingly sweet in a fruity way and has a disturbingly plastic-like texture. The signature Hershey’s cocoa flavor is entirely absent, and the aftertaste is reminiscent of garage sweepings. After 4 or 5 sips I’m left disoriented, and dangerously close to rinsing my mouth out with the equally noxious Mexico City tap water.
Why do I even bother with these? There's no sweetness, no chocolate, no reason to drink this at all. It’s super thick, and akin to drinking oatmeal without the solid bits.
Thin and somewhat smooth, but unnatural feeling. The overt (phony) sweetness will shock and displease you. Reckon it's antifreeze without the cool green color.
Plenty of grit, plenty of other reasons to never drink this again. No sweetness, no cocoa, no salt, moderate cream. Weetabix is a popular brand in the UK, and this product perfectly conveys the British value of 'suffering for the sake of doing so.’ Drink this for ‘street cred’ if you must, but if it’s flavor you’re after, you're better off tonguing the coin return slot of a bus station payphone.
Imagine this- you snorted a full packet of Sweet ’n Low, then someone blasted you in the face, causing your nose to trickle artificially-sweetened blood both in through your lips and down the back of your throat. This experience (in bottled form) is available at Auchan for a mere 219 Hungarian Forint.
After you puke, there's that residual stomach acid in your mouth that you continue to spit out over the course of your recovery. This 'beverage' captures that feeling rather accurately. And consuming it may even cause vomiting, kicking off some weird convergent cycle of unrelated experiences.
Your tongue will immediately react with a “WTF!”— and your hand will soon get the message and set the drink down. Despite pleasant aesthetics and texture, the stevia taste will contort your face in ways you didn't think possible.
A flavor reminiscent of skunky, under-sweetened Ensure, with a torpidly gummy texture. Choking to death on this stuff would be an awful way to die-- for me it lies somewhere between ‘open water shark attack' and ‘getting slowly consumed feet-first by a runaway escalator.’
Clearly, Matilde felt it necessary to concoct a cross between the ‘Mini’ 50% less sugar version and the ‘Sport’ extra protein version. In this case, you get the worst of both: super-chalky, nasty texture (Sport) and the gutter runoff flavor (Mini) that would make tree bark taste like peanut butter fudge by comparison.
I don’t want to make light of child abuse, but please don’t feed this to your kids. I understand that there’s 50% less sugar, and that ‘taste’ is not the primary objective here, but it should have at least been considered.
The most prominent flavor here is ‘regret.’ Fifty percent less sugar may be too ambitious— there’s zero sweetness, zero creaminess, no salt, minimal sour cocoa flavor, all wrapped up in a nasty dark gray liquid that, in retrospect, looks much more appetizing that what is delivered. Eschew.
