Chalky, but chocolaty and relatively focused throughout.
All in Denmark
Milsani Milk Shake Saveur Cacao
Plenty sweet and chocolaty, but the texture is way over thickened— another failed attempt of emulating ‘creaminess’ does a more efficient job of hiding the creaminess the product might otherwise exhibit.
Arla Kaakao-Maito Juoma
Smells like dirt, but to say that it tastes like dirt would be insincere flattery. It’s foreseeably under-sweet, chalky, significantly earthy, and thoroughly avoidable.
Power Cow Milk Shake Chokladsmak
Strong cocoa flavor that layers nicely with a creamy taste, capped off with appropriate levels of sweet and salt. It's super thick, especially if you shake for the recommended 30 seconds, and that is the lone (but significant) drawback. It feels more indulgent than the nutrition information would suggest, which is impressive; if you like thickness, prioritize this shake over most others in Europe.
Cocio Natural Energy Chocolate Milk + Guarana
Not as much of the burnt coffee flavor that I experienced with the previous canned Cocio, and the added guarana extract doesn't seem to contribute meaningfully to the flavor (probably a positive thing). This still seemed congruent with Cocio’s portfolio and is not a disappointing experiment.
Pucko Dark Chokladmjölk
Like Cocio Dark— gorgeous aesthetics, fun to shake up and watch settle, and even more fun to drink. It’s noticeably thicker than the Original version, but definitely more chocolaty as well.
Arla Protein Chocolate Flavoured Milk Drink 50% Less Sugar
Primarily a sharp, nearly bitter wheaty taste delivered through a chalky base that does it no favors. If I had to drink this ‘after sport’ like the package suggests, I would have to seriously reconsider my desire to be involved in sports.
Arla Protein Chocolate Flavoured Milk Drink
No noticeable difference from the Arla Protein Choklad Mjolkdryck Sport: Sweet and powdery— leaves a noticeable residue in the mouth post-swallow that is unpleasant. The chocolate flavor is there but is hindered by the texture, making it feel less authentic.
Arla Protein Choklad Mjölkdryck Lactose Free
Could use some salt, but overall a pleasant surprise in that it was potable. Only 45 calories and 4.5g sugar, with 5.3g protein per 100mL-- the stats are definitely better than the taste, but you can't have it all.
Arla Protein Choklad Mjölkdryck Sport
Sweet and powdery— leaves a noticeable residue in the mouth post-swallow that is unpleasant. The chocolate flavor is there but is hindered by the texture, making it feel less authentic.
Pucko Original Chokladmjölk
Highly reminiscent of Cocio Original-- which is not a bad thing. It manages that same unique flavor despite having 3 additional ingredients that Cocio doesn't (salt, calcium carbonate, flavor). Nicely thin texture, very drinkable, settles in the bottle and in the esophagus like chocolate milk should.
Arla Choklad Mjölk Dryck 50% Less Sugar
Unsweet, barely chocolaty, and a slight metallic aftertaste-- none of which are particularly egregious, but it's not a package I'd recommend for flavor pursuit.
Matilde Sport 50% Less Sugar
Clearly, Matilde felt it necessary to concoct a cross between the ‘Mini’ 50% less sugar version and the ‘Sport’ extra protein version. In this case, you get the worst of both: super-chalky, nasty texture (Sport) and the gutter runoff flavor (Mini) that would make tree bark taste like peanut butter fudge by comparison.
REMA 1000 Kakao Skummetmaelk
The package is modestly better than the sum if its parts— it fits together nicely and definitely shouldn't offend anyone.
Matilde Favorit Kakao Skummetmaelk
Bland with a slightly nutty flavor that is an improvement over the sour/dirty flavor of the original. Considering the paucity of sugar in this product, it's not bad, but compared with normal chocolate milk, it’s still noticeably behind. Tastes better than expected, but my expectations could have stood tall beneath a pregnant tick.
Cocio Chocolate Flavour Milkshake
Thick and starchy feeling-- and a bit of an incongruous ‘cream’ flavor that reminds me of products that emulate butter, but aren’t quite butter. There’s ahint of cardboard in it as well, at least it strikes the back-roof of my mouth as such. Sweet, starchy, not worth the 102 cals / 100mL price tag.
Vores Mejeri Kakao Skummetmaelk
Highly drinkable texture but relatively flat, average flavors across the board. There’s a very minor acidity to the aftertaste that is only noticeable in the first sip or two.
Ollingegaard Mejeri Okologisk Chocomaelk
Awesome aesthetics— whether in its separated or shaken state. It’s a very unique flavor— heavily sour, but swept away by a luxuriously creamy wave. It’s remarkable, in the sense that I’ll remember it for a long time and at some point in my life another taste of something will transport me momentarily back to Copenhagen in remembrance.
Thise Okologisk Kakao Med Mere
Delightfully creamy and mature with a slight sour note to the cocoa flavor. No thickeners here— only 3 ingredients, which really nails the thin-yet-creamy feel that is one of the most important features (to me) of a great chocolate milk.
Thise Okologisk Kakaomaelk Laktosefri
Shockingly bitter upon first sip, but warms up quickly. I dig the uniqueness and the (way) under sweetened approach— it's memorable and reminds you that decent cocoa flavor doesn't require a ton of help.