So how does one review 1,800 chocolate milks? The short answer is "one at a time." The long answer takes about 8 years of dedication and disregard for personal health. Included here is a long-overdue review of BAD Farm chocolate milk, a more recent review of Mapes Farm Fresh chocolate milk (recommended by a 'friend of the show'), and lastly-- a fittingly unique and beautiful chocolate milk from Lanes End Farm Creamery that happened to be review # 1,800.

When northern New England is your spring break location-- you're clearly prioritizing something else over the weather-- and in our case, it was a long-anticipated chocolate milk pilgrimage to Maine and New Hampshire! Soon to come are two full state reviews, filled to the brim with local chocolate milk, and a bit of nostalgia for me as I return to the ol' stompin' grounds. Here's a trailer for a taste of what's coming later this summer-- leave the driving (~1,600 miles) and the weight gain (~7 lbs) to me.

The Keystone State is in a class by itself when it comes to chocolate milk, and even among all the options-- there's the best of the best-- and Linden Creek Dairy chocolate milk is one of the best you'll find. This video is short and relatively sweet-- I didn't want to make it too long, as that would be taking time away from your ability to seek out this delicious, local chocolate milk from Washington County, PA.

Target is now carrying Pioneer Pastures Chocolate Milk-- an ultra-filtered, ultra-pasteurized, A2, lactose free, gluten free, lower sugar option in the dairy case. That's an awful lot of bells & whistles, and a significant departure from the 'milk-sugar-cocoa' paradigm. Doesn't mean it can't still taste great-- and that's what we endeavored to find out in this recent trip to Target.

Freshly Dairy, just 20 miles west of Indianapolis, is home to some of the best flavored milks in the midwest and best people you'll find anywhere. With only a relative handful of cows, this micro-dairy has a clear focus on quality over quantity, and they've been providing the local community with top-notch local chocolate milk since 2022. Always a highlight of my cross-country roadtrips, I'm already looking forward to the next time I cross over those pesky train tracks en route to some local, non-homogenized goodness!

Eight chocolate milk reviews in eight minutes, all from New York State. So many great local chocolate milks from the Empire State, it's easy to take them for granted and hard to do them justice. Just wanted to spread the word about these destination dairies in a way that tries to balance brevity with thoroughness. Whether or not I was successful in doing so, I certainly had a deliciously fun time visiting the farms and meeting lots of awesome, hard-working people along the way.

Some chocolate milks just have 'it'-- and the chocolate milk you find at Burley Berries & Blooms in Warsaw, NY is one of those. From the grassy, buttery creamline base to the deftly attuned salty/sweet balance-- you can get a metric ton of enjoyment out of a mere 16oz bottle. Join us for a quick (but fairly dense) review of this local dairy gem in Western New York State. Oh and did I mention the fridge moos when you open it?

Four chocolate milk reviews in four minutes, all from the state of Michigan. Footage is from a few years ago (during covid) when I drove from Chicago to Detroit-- Michigan never disappoints from a chocolate milk perspective. And I make no illusions about having any other perspectives!

Better late than never! Well it's only taken 8 years to create a genuine website/channel promo-- but on the plus side, we can truly showcase our hardcore pursuit of the world's chocolate milk. Condensing 8 years down to 2 minutes is a huge challenge, and there are so many other clips and moments that I couldn't quite fit in. All that said, it's been a blast, and as long as it remains a fun endeavor, I'll be doing it into my final years. Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has been involved along the way-- it truly is the journey and not the destination. It's a fool's errand, brother.