What happens when one of the biggest content creators in the world gets into the chocolate milk business? You get MrBeast Feastables chocolate milk-- a protein-fortified, ultra-pasteurized, 100%-Fairtrade cocoa-containing whole chocolate milk, with snazzy branding and tangible, philanthropic goals. So how does it compare to its peer group and the universe of chocolate milk as a whole? I do my best to break it all down here in under 10 minutes.
Western Mass's Pioneer Valley is quickly becoming a must-visit chocolate milk pilgrimage site in the U.S. for its high concentration of top-notch dairy farms pumping out the good stuff. Two (relative) newcomers to the chocolate milk scene are featured here, each with their own unique and memorable products that add to the already great lineup of local dairies across the Bay State. I'm bummed that I didn't have more time to dedicate to these, but very glad that I was able to pick them up regardless.
Well, the long-awaited chocolate milk pilgrimage to Maine is finally here-- a whirlwind trip to review all the chocolate milk the Pine Tree State has to offer-- and are presenting it in Top 10 countdown fashion. Drinking gallons of chocolate milk a day for several days can take its toll, and is somewhat like running your fingers through Patrick Dempsey's* hair while he's giving you a cancer diagnosis-- potentially unhealthy but rather enjoyable. (*He's from Maine.) I grew up here, but still visited lots of places that I had not been to before-- a great mix of novelty and nostalgia-- and a ton of great local chocolate milk along the way.
Long overdue for a pilgrimage to New Hampshire, we squeezed every ounce of delicious chocolate milk from the Granite State that we could, and left no stone unturned in the process. Included in the list are pasteurized and unpasteurized (raw), as well as homogenized and non-homogenized (creamline) milks-- quite the variety for a relatively small state. So in typical countdown fashion, here are the best chocolate milks from New Hampshire.
So how does one review 1,800 chocolate milks? The short answer is "one at a time." The long answer takes about 8 years of dedication and disregard for personal health. Included here is a long-overdue review of BAD Farm chocolate milk, a more recent review of Mapes Farm Fresh chocolate milk (recommended by a 'friend of the show'), and lastly-- a fittingly unique and beautiful chocolate milk from Lanes End Farm Creamery that happened to be review # 1,800.
When northern New England is your spring break location-- you're clearly prioritizing something else over the weather-- and in our case, it was a long-anticipated chocolate milk pilgrimage to Maine and New Hampshire! Soon to come are two full state reviews, filled to the brim with local chocolate milk, and a bit of nostalgia for me as I return to the ol' stompin' grounds. Here's a trailer for a taste of what's coming later this summer-- leave the driving (~1,600 miles) and the weight gain (~7 lbs) to me.
The Keystone State is in a class by itself when it comes to chocolate milk, and even among all the options-- there's the best of the best-- and Linden Creek Dairy chocolate milk is one of the best you'll find. This video is short and relatively sweet-- I didn't want to make it too long, as that would be taking time away from your ability to seek out this delicious, local chocolate milk from Washington County, PA.
Target is now carrying Pioneer Pastures Chocolate Milk-- an ultra-filtered, ultra-pasteurized, A2, lactose free, gluten free, lower sugar option in the dairy case. That's an awful lot of bells & whistles, and a significant departure from the 'milk-sugar-cocoa' paradigm. Doesn't mean it can't still taste great-- and that's what we endeavored to find out in this recent trip to Target.
Freshly Dairy, just 20 miles west of Indianapolis, is home to some of the best flavored milks in the midwest and best people you'll find anywhere. With only a relative handful of cows, this micro-dairy has a clear focus on quality over quantity, and they've been providing the local community with top-notch local chocolate milk since 2022. Always a highlight of my cross-country roadtrips, I'm already looking forward to the next time I cross over those pesky train tracks en route to some local, non-homogenized goodness!
Eight chocolate milk reviews in eight minutes, all from New York State. So many great local chocolate milks from the Empire State, it's easy to take them for granted and hard to do them justice. Just wanted to spread the word about these destination dairies in a way that tries to balance brevity with thoroughness. Whether or not I was successful in doing so, I certainly had a deliciously fun time visiting the farms and meeting lots of awesome, hard-working people along the way.
