More chocolaty than sweet, which I appreciate, though the grainy and cream-deficient texture drag the score just below the meniscus of mediocrity.
All tagged High Calcium
Greenfields Choco Malt Milk
The more I have, the more I like it. Great ratio of cream/salt/sweet/malt— not necessarily in that order, but it just feels like it belongs together, as though it comes naturally in this form. It makes good on the claims of ‘chocolate’ and ‘malt’; a rare product that gets the balance just right.
Meiji High Protein Chocolate Milk
Thick and chalky— akin to the fluid they make you drink before a colonoscopy (so I’ve heard). Drinking this whole bottle may be equally as unpleasant (as the procedure, not the prep fluid).
F&N Magnolia Low Fat Hi Cal Chocolate Milk
Powdery feel, and truly lacks a salty aspect that would complete each sip. It’s chocolaty enough, but it’s the drying sensation you get after swallowing that causes you to seek out another sip, not the flavor.
Rokeby Farms Whole Protein Dutch Chocolate Breakfast Smoothie
Rather bland, with a somewhat artificial bent to the sweetness (though it does not contain artificial sweeteners). Otherwise, it's fairly bland and unobtrusive, does a nice job of hiding the fortification (tastewise), but could use some salt to add another needed flavor dimension.
Origina Dairy Chocolate Milk
Thin and smooth with a noticeable malty quality that doesn’t linger. It’s not watery, but very thin and the flavor doesn’t stick around for very long. I’ve definitely had far worse things come out of a pouch.
Marigold HL Chocolate Milk
Tastes like a chocolate popsicle that had been lurking in the back of the freezer for months past its ‘sell-by’ curfew. You know the kind— it’s covered in icy particles, which, due to the lack of other options, you give a cursory brush-off before thrusting the pop into your warm piehole in a vulgar act of misguided desperation. This chocolate milk embodies that experience.
Straus Family Creamery Organic Chocolate Milk
Wow— super strong cocoa flavor, paired with a mature, undersweet sourness that delivers a haymaker of deliciousness! It offers what I desire most in chocolate milk exceedingly well— creaminess unencumbered by viscosity, brilliantly indulgent and punchy mature cocoa flavor, and a unique had-nearly-one-thousand-chocolate-milks-but-nothing-quite-like-this factor that puts this into rarefied orbit for me.
Great Value Ultra-Pasteurized Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Smooth and fairly malty— a notch ‘milkier’ and better than the standard gallon jug 1% chocolate milk. It’s pale color sets up the expectation of weak cocoa flavor, which turns out not to be as egregious as it looks.
Fit & Active Weight Loss Shake Chocolate
Gritty texture and slightly metallic flavor, but behind all that is an above average tasting fortified drink. The chocolate flavor is definitely present and becomes more prominent the more you get used to the undesirables.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). It does have stronger than average cocoa flavor, but suffers from a lack of a salty presence.
Friendly Farms Lactose Free Chocolate Milk
Decently thin and smooth texture, but not much taste beyond a fairly empty sweetness and mild cocoa flavor.
Bolthouse Farms Chocolate Protein Plus
A powdery, grainy feel and soy flavor highlight the experience, and limit the score significantly. It doesn't have a ‘bad’ flavor for what it is, but it carries more of a fruity sweetness than a ‘Rich Chocolate Taste’ that the label touts.
MET-Rx High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Thick, chalky, and highly unsweet. It makes you wonder what ‘Drano’ might taste like, and how similar to this it might be.
Gatorade Recover Chocolate Protein Shake
Syrupy and grainy texture— it’s not milk, nor does it imitate it well. The sweetness level is appropriate, and the flavor is not terribly chocolaty, but not necessarily terrible. It’s rather boring, with a sticky, unnatural feel.
Snowville Creamery Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Strong cocoa hit in the early part of the sip, but lacks a creaminess that would really add some punch and staying power to the flavor. It’s very thin and there’s no trace (taste-wise) of its ‘high protein’ claim. Very unique and memorable.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Protein Builder Chocolate
Beautifully brown, but fairly hollow flavor. The sweetness feels inauthentic, and overall it has a slight watery quality that washes away the rather mild taste anyway. It hides the protein-y flavor quite well— it’s definitely palatable, and tastier than many other ‘recovery’ oriented drinks, but it doesn't compare favorably to chocolate milk, especially the high standard that Shamrock Farms tends to deliver.
Orgain Grass Fed Protein Creamy Chocolate Fudge
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Fairlife Smart Milkshakes Chocolate
Smooth and sweet— but I taste more stevia than honey. It’s not as blatant as some of the other Fairlife products, but neither is the chocolate presence. It could use a heavier dose of salt to bring out the cream, as it’s lacking flavor dimensionality.
Kroger Chocolate Breakfast Shake
Multivitamin scent and flavor (to a lesser extent), and feels like a mouthful of beach sand. You can chomp on the individual grains during and after each sip, and there’s an audible ‘crunch’ as you do so. It’s chalky, passably chocolaty, and from a taste perspective, you could do a lot worse in the ‘breakfast shake’ category.