Tastes exactly how a chocolate scratch-n-sniff sticker smells. There's no salt, and a poorly simulated cocoa flavor that feels like it came from an automotive research lab. The mouthfeel isn’t bad at all, and the flavor, despite having the aforementioned characteristics, could also be worse.
More malty than chocolaty, and just a tad more starchy-feeling than milky, but pleasant enough to down the whole carton without regret.
More of a ‘light' flavor— not quite ‘bland’— but not far from it. It’s thin and feels milky upfront, but finishes more on the watery side. It exudes that ‘artificial chocolate’ flavor that reminds me of how paint thinner smells— not necessarily unpleasant, but not something your tastebuds will crave.
Hugely creamy, almost to a buttery extent— and that somehow both overshadows (in a good way) and enhances (in a good way) the remainder of the experience. Its cream-to-viscosity ratio is stellar, as you’re not overburdened with thickness, yet still rewarded with a luxurious creamy flavor.
On the thick side for a boxed drink, but remarkably well balanced with a flavor that tastes natural and pairs well with the sweetness. Better than most other reconstituted UHT drinks I’ve had.
Sweeter than its (normal) chocolate counterpart, and the ‘nutty’ aspect of Rocky Road comes off as more of an earthy note. It’s not egregious, and gets more palatable with each sip. All things considered, it's pulled off decently well, and I applaud the uniqueness, as I've not seen this flavor of chocolate milk before.
Impressively chocolaty and under-sweet— only held back by the thick(ish), powdery/chalky texture— which is far from a deal-breaker, but rather a persistent annoyance. Nonetheless, the remainder of the drink is flavorful, creamy enough, and enjoyable enough to garner an average overall score.
Definitely sweet and flavored— but what that ‘flavor’ is, is a bit of a mystery. It doesn’t venture confidently into the chocolate realm, but it's more of a fake-vanilla with a touch of malt.
Decently milky, pleasantly sweet, and not harsh on the eyes— but there’s something askew. The flavor is a departure from what most would consider ‘chocolate’— and there's a twang to the back end of each sip that reminded me ever so slightly of barbecue sauce.
The drink has a cartoony feel that’s eerily congruent with the lasso-wielding, bi-pedal cow emblazoned on the package. Flavorwise, there's a pronounced sourness that is common with some flavorings, and the texture is unpleasantly inauthentic feeling (and looking).
More chocolaty than sweet, which I appreciate, though the grainy and cream-deficient texture drag the score just below the meniscus of mediocrity.
It's hard to tell that this is sweetened at all— or ‘chocolate’ for that matter. I’ve never had straight goat milk, but now I feel that I have. Not the worst thing under the sun, but aside from a mild ‘game’ flavor and an equally mild ‘malt’ flavor— there’s very little here to taste. It’s very thin, and separates quickly— otherwise you wouldn't believe that it was ‘chocolate goat milk.’
Does not provide the chocolate milk experience that one might reasonably expect out of a bottle that says little else than ‘chocolate milk.’ It’s ultimately a hollow encounter that will cause you to yearn merely for something average.
It looks like vanilla (or regular) milk, and tastes like vanilla milk— despite clearly being labeled as a ‘chocolate milk beverage.’ There’s zero chocolate, or even an attempt to make it look or taste chocolaty. That said, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s super creamy, not hampered by thickeners or starchiness, and the flavor, though devoid of chocolate, is rather agreeable.
The more I have, the more I like it. Great ratio of cream/salt/sweet/malt— not necessarily in that order, but it just feels like it belongs together, as though it comes naturally in this form. It makes good on the claims of ‘chocolate’ and ‘malt’; a rare product that gets the balance just right.
Smooth, silky texture that carries above average cream and sweetness, and a rather muted chocolate flavor. In its place is a subtle but noticeable sourness— definitely not to a fermented extent— but approaching that (purposely, I presume). It’s a nitpick— this same flavor profile is fairly common, and overall it's a pleasure to drink.
Mmm… chocolate gravy. It leaves a warming sensation in your mouth post-swallow, which, when paired with thickness and lack of salt, it’s a pretty rough experience.
Coarsely chocolaty— the kind that makes you feel like you’ve got a lovely cocoa film on your teeth. The strong chocolate flavor meshes well with its under-sweet base, providing a jolt of flavor that ends with a satisfyingly natural (yet slightly drying) aftertaste. Don’t be fooled by the cutesy package, this is an adult beverage.
Thick and chalky— akin to the fluid they make you drink before a colonoscopy (so I’ve heard). Drinking this whole bottle may be equally as unpleasant (as the procedure, not the prep fluid).
Powdery feel, and truly lacks a salty aspect that would complete each sip. It’s chocolaty enough, but it’s the drying sensation you get after swallowing that causes you to seek out another sip, not the flavor.
