Hokkaido Chocolate Milk

It looks like vanilla (or regular) milk, and tastes like vanilla milk— despite clearly being labeled as a ‘chocolate milk beverage.’ There’s zero chocolate, or even an attempt to make it look or taste chocolaty. That said, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s super creamy, not hampered by thickeners or starchiness, and the flavor, though devoid of chocolate, is rather agreeable.

Greenfields Choco Malt Milk

The more I have, the more I like it. Great ratio of cream/salt/sweet/malt— not necessarily in that order, but it just feels like it belongs together, as though it comes naturally in this form. It makes good on the claims of ‘chocolate’ and ‘malt’; a rare product that gets the balance just right.

Meadow Fresh Choco Choc

Smooth, silky texture that carries above average cream and sweetness, and a rather muted chocolate flavor. In its place is a subtle but noticeable sourness— definitely not to a fermented extent— but approaching that (purposely, I presume). It’s a nitpick— this same flavor profile is fairly common, and overall it's a pleasure to drink.

Beau & Belle Cocoa

Coarsely chocolaty— the kind that makes you feel like you’ve got a lovely cocoa film on your teeth. The strong chocolate flavor meshes well with its under-sweet base, providing a jolt of flavor that ends with a satisfyingly natural (yet slightly drying) aftertaste. Don’t be fooled by the cutesy package, this is an adult beverage.

Meiji Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Many times better than the Meiji I had in Thailand, this has a great balance of flavors— there’s plenty of salt to balance out the sweetness and amplify the cream. The texture feels milky and natural, super easy to drink, and 450mL goes surprisingly quickly when it’s executed well.

Summerfield Chocolate Caramel Milk

Finally, an instance where ‘caramel chocolate’ was pulled off rather well in milk form. The caramel flavor is not too overpowering or ‘popcorn buttery.’ You don’t get a sense that the caramel and chocolate flavors are vying for dominance, but working together in relative harmony. How unselfish.

Starbucks Signature Chocolate

Definitely not Starbucks hot chocolate served in cold form. This is thin and smooth with a pleasant cream quotient, and respectably chocolaty. There is a slight mineral-y tang that makes a brief post-swallow cameo. Enjoyable nonetheless, and no, there’s no coffee in it.

Marigold Chocolate Milk

Mild and uncontroversial in every respect. I wouldn’t brag about this being in my fridge, and nobody is likely to de-friend me on social media if they found out it was there. On the bright side, mediocrity makes the extremes much more interesting.

Marigold HL Chocolate Milk

Tastes like a chocolate popsicle that had been lurking in the back of the freezer for months past its ‘sell-by’ curfew. You know the kind— it’s covered in icy particles, which, due to the lack of other options, you give a cursory brush-off before thrusting the pop into your warm piehole in a vulgar act of misguided desperation. This chocolate milk embodies that experience.

Fernleaf Chocolate Milk

Solid but uninteresting, with the mild salty/buttery snap at the end being its standout feature. The chocolate bit is underwhelming, but not egregiously so— all in all, a competent offering that stands above much of its Malaysian competition somewhat by default.

UK Farm Chocolate Goat Milk

The dominant flavor is ‘malt’ by a long shot— it’s not particularly chocolaty or goaty. The texture is excellent, and the creaminess shines as well (especially given the thin medium). It’s not ‘gamey’ or ‘wild’ tasting as other non-cow milks can be, but more on the bland side with plus physical attributes.

Almarai Double Chocolate Milk

Wow— super sweet and strongly chocolaty. Unfortunately, the cocoa flavor has been ‘candified’ which exudes an air of inauthenticity. I applaud the effort, as it stands out among the hundreds of boxed chocolate milks I’ve tried, and it does indeed deliver on the ‘double chocolate’ claim. Just too sweet for its own good.