Gorgeous creamline body capable of shouldering more flavor-- but what is there is a deliciously subtle cocoa-malt flavor that pairs well with the non-homogenized cream flavor to make a nicely satisfying drink.
Collins Farm & Creamery Chocolate Milk
Nicely developing flavor where the initial salty/malty punch seamlessly flows into cocoa crescendo in the latter half of the sip. The creamline base is fully burdened with flavor, without feeling bogged down by added thickness-- in a word, it's 'dessertily indulgent.' Ok so that's two words, but one of them I made up, so really it's still just one. Just try it.
Comley's Country Creamery Chocolate Milk
Immediately flavorful with a thin, silky texture that still feels blissfully creamy. The aftertastes leans sweet, but there's a fleeting grassy twinge toward the back end that adds dimensionality to the cream flavor and overall experience. Sixteen ounces goes extremely quickly when you're jonesing local, whole, creamline chocolate milk-- which is why I bought four bottles.
Cummings Farms Chocolate Milk
Approaching a sharp-ish maltiness that feels desserty and is nicely delivered by its substantial but lithe, non-homogenized base. The flavor distributes quickly and strikes mainly to the rear sides of the tongue, making each swallow a purposeful deliverance of yum.
Destiny Dairy Bar Cookies & Cream Milk
Nicely straightforward cookies & cream flavor without any of the cartoonish qualities that typically plague the genre. It starts off sweet and then rounds out with an accurate cookie flavor that carries you into the aftertaste that is well-supported and extended by its luxuriously creamy base.
Destiny Dairy Bar Chocolate Milk
Impressively undersweet and thus focused on the cocoa and cream experience, both of which are well executed and substantial feeling. Uniqueness has cachet with me, and the sweet/salty balance-- decidedly in favor of the latter-- further pops the cream flavor in the back-end of the sip, leaving you satisfied, mildly introspective, and ultimately ready for another sip without the inclination to rush.
Stewart's Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Fairly drab with a sharpish saltiness that causes your tongue to water toward the tip-- not much cocoa presence and the base feels watered down and somewhat depleted. It's a stopgap at best, an underwhelming representation of chocolate milk at worst. Leaning toward 'worst' here.
Galliker's Whole Chocolate Milk
Sweet and flavorful upfront-- but the longer you go into the aftertaste, you realize how much of the flavor relies on the 'sweet.' It's got a syrupy finish that trumps whatever cream component you might get from it being whole milk. It satisfies in short bursts, but doesn't have the staying power to be make the trip worthwhile.
Stewart's Peanut Butter Chocolate Milk
Saltier than sweet, which affords the peanutty flavor a bit more of the limelight-- but a decent choice rather than an overly sweet, overly salty onslaught of flavor. This feels more delicate and deliberate, and paired with a slightly thinner viscosity than expected, lends itself to a more unique and less-gimmicky limited edition flavor.
Orgain Kids Protein Organic Chocolate Shake
Undersweet in a way that feels extreme at first, but feels more appropriate once you're several sips in. There's an artificial twinge in the aftertaste that leaves me in a bad place, but I get that this is not meant for recreation, but for discipline. There's a modestly creamy base that can support much more than the dusting of cocoa contained therein, and while uniqueness has cachet with me, too many of its idiosyncrasies stack up in the 'loss' column. Maybe it tastes better through the provided straw, but I'm not curious enough to try this again anytime soon.
Alani Nutrition Fit Shake Cookies & Cream
Strange light-vanilla flavor that has a cereal-esque bent to it-- but ultimately dominated by an inauthentic sweetness that peaks early and rears its head again in the aftertaste. It seems fakely sweet, fakely salty, and wholly unsatisfying. Texture-wise, it could be a lot worse, as it flows pretty freely and is not bogged down by a starchy sludginess like many others in the 'recovery' genre.
Premier Protein Chocolate Peanut Butter
Surprisingly palatable for 1g sugar and 30g protein-- the additional salt and peanut butter flavoring helps quite a bit and feels like 'success' despite a low overall rating compared with average chocolate milk. There's no getting rid of the vitamin-laden, metallic 'twang' that plagues these type of drinks, but at least it attempts to make it more pleasurable on its way down.
Sprouts Farmers Market Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Solid lowfat chocolate milk experience here. The texture is relatively thin and lithe, which feels authentically congruent with its 1% base. The cocoa flavor is bright and strong upfront, and the sweet/salty balance is appropriate and more than adequate to register on the most stoic of palates. I like that it doesn't immediately shoehorn itself into one of the existing lowfat chocolate milk paradigms, but it sets off confidently in its own direction.
Weigel's Candy Bar Milk
I've never had a 'candy bar' that tasted anything close to this-- it's powerfully sweet and hazelnutty-- a combination that wouldn't be out of place in eastern Europe, but is certainly unique here in the states. It's a bit jarring up front, as it probably won't taste like you expect, but with each sip it gets a bit more palatable and ends up being easy to finish the whole ~500 calorie pint in under 2 minutes.
Woodbourne Creamery Chocolate Milk
Neat combination of sharply salty/malty with a heavily creamy girth to it. Usually 'malty' cocoa flavor tends to be on the lighter side, but this carries a much more amped-up taste and finishes with a resolutely salty pinch and dusting of grit on the tongue. Damn fine stuff.
Country View Creamery Chocolate Milk
Pitch-perfect creamline body that dances beautifully along the palate, delivering a medium-to-malty cocoa flavor with a smooth buttery snap on the back end. Each sip gets better, and before you know it, you've cracked open the 2nd pint. Effortlessly delicious.
Peaceful Springs Farm Raw Chocolate Goat Milk
Resoundingly refreshing cocoa flavor with a slightly mature/sour pitch in the first third of the sip. It's not particularly wild or 'goaty' for those concerned about that-- it remains confidently under-sweet and cocoa-focused-- and I applaud the commitment to making chocolate milk that feels like: chocolate, milk.
Pigeon Creek Farm Raw Chocolate Milk
Nostril-flaringly chocolaty in a way that wins your admiration and respect quickly-- thanks in part to the raw, creamy base that knows exactly where to go and how to get there. This stuff has choco 'grit' (both literally and figuratively) so prepare your tastebuds for devastation (only figuratively)-- I mean that in the best possible sense.
Dagostin's Milkhouse Creamery Chocolate Peanut Butter Milk
Tasty combination with a slightly stronger peanutty bent-- it feels heftier than the normal chocolate milk as it's tasked with carrying a good deal more flavor. The sweet-salty balance is both amped-up and appropriate, not a bad way to spend a few minutes and few hundred calories.
Pigeon Creek Farm Chocolate Milk
Yes, yes, and yes. That's the most intelligent thought sequence that I can string together when this hits my palate. Rarely does a chocolate milk strike so many notes with such perfect resonance-- from the viscosity-to-creaminess ratio to the mature-but-still-'cool' cocoa flavor to the salt-forward grassy punch-- everything works magnificently. If there's a such thing as a 'gateway drug' to micro-craft dairy-- this will bust the doors wide open.