All tagged High Calcium

Organic Valley Fuel Chocolate

If Robitussin got into the chocolate milk business, I would expect something similar to this. Fortunately the Stevia flavor isn’t oppressive, but it’s not flavorful in any positive direction. The texture is dense and not as unnatural as expected, and visually, it looks ok. And just like that, my cough is gone.

Organic Valley Ultra Chocolate Milk

Refreshingly unsweet, with a heft that would suggest more flavor than it actually carries. There’s a bit of an aftertaste that is a departure from ‘milky’ or ‘chocolaty’ but overall, its focus on cocoa (without a sugary crutch) is unique and honorable.

Stewart's Shops Chocolate Dairy Shake

Unsettlingly girthy and sweet beyond what the law should allow. I peeled off the label and was expecting to see ‘Diabetes in a Jug’ underneath. It’s far too thick and sugary to attempt to discern other flavors and properties, frankly, if you’re past the age of 11, I can’t in good faith recommend.

Hershey's Plus Protein Chocolate Milk

Beefy feel, and a nigh-stinging sweetness that ultimately dominates the cocoa, veering the Hershey’s-licensed flavor into its rightly ‘candified’ domain. It feels fortified, and carries a chalkiness that strays from its milky roots. Ultimately, you could do a lot worse from a taste perspective in the ‘fortified’ market— but when compared with elite chocolate milk, the flavor gap is much more pronounced than the protein gap.

Nice! Organic Chocolate Milk

Unique, in that the salt hits you before the sweet, and the cocoa flavor follows shortly thereafter (albeit briefly). It finishes cleanly, and may leave you searching for a deeper, more lasting chocolate experience. You could also convince yourself of a slightly ‘soapy’ aftertaste— though it’s still a positive experience throughout.

Maple Hill Organic Chocolate Milk

Devastatingly focused on delivering a clean, true cocoa flavor that pairs exceedingly well with the cream to provide a top-flight drinking experience. There’s a salty bite and a fleeting but blissful grassy back-end that both feels like a reward, yet is rewarding in itself.

Origin Chocolate Milk

Delicious from first sip to navel-gazing repose; it’s evident that great care went into the cocoa profile, both in the flavor and how to maintain its presence throughout the experience. The powerful cocoa flavor leaves an ephemeral chalky footprint— one that you’ll want to follow back to the fridge time and time again.

Milk 2 Go Sport Pro Chocolate

It probably won’t stab you to death in the shower. That’s the only positive thing I can say about it. You won’t question the ‘no sugar added’ claim on the front, but you may ponder how many brushings it will take to erase the flavor from your mouth, and how much bleach you’ll have to huff to dull the memory.

Kroger Slim Rite Milk Chocolate

Vitamin-like metallic scent, minimally serviceable cocoa flavor, and loads of sandy granules that you can crunch between your bicuspids. Perhaps the best feature is the 5g of fiber per bottle, which can further expedite the process of getting this out of your system.

Organic Valley Breakfast Balance Dark Chocolate

Hollow and watery with the trademark Stevia-astringency, which remains remarkably difficult to hide. I’ve had much worse tasting things at this low-50s-calorie-per-100mL tranche, and I can’t deny the impressive attributes (organic, lactose free, gluten free, Fair Trade, high calcium, high(ish) protein)— but the flavor and drinking experience does not compare favorably to your average chocolate milk.

Fairlife Smart Snacks Rich Chocolate

The sweeteners seem to be in competition and ultimately dominate the experience. A honey-like note kicks off the sip, but by the end, you have a saliva-inducing essence plaguing your tongue. In the interim, there’s too much chalk and not enough cocoa to salvage a respectable score.