Ozark Mountain Creamery Chocolate Milk

Indulgently creamy with a unique cocoa profile that reminds me of Kalona Super Natural. There’s a hearty (I hate that word) texture that feels genuine— rich, dense cream and fine (but feel-able) cocoa particulates remind you that you’re drinking something real.

Memory Lane Dairy Chocolate Milk

Deliciously mild grass-fed flavor doesn’t usurp attention way from the cocoa but remains a solid supporting role throughout the experience. The cream also does its job astoundingly well, serving up a substantial, indulgent drink that nails the paradigm of chocolate milk we know and love.

Edgewood Creamery Chocolate Milk

Infinitely creamy, delectably malty, and a sleek, velvety viscosity that won’t clog one’s esophagus (despite my best efforts). It’s got just the right amount of wildness, and a buttery base that sustains its flavor well into the post-sip introspection stage.

Central Dairy Chocolate Milk

The flavor balance is skewed more towards ‘sweet’ than ‘chocolate’— a trope often seen in lower-fat chocolate milks. Whole milk shouldn’t need this sort of ‘band-aid’— don’t get me wrong, it still tastes good, but could be a lot better with more cocoa and less sugar.

Traderspoint Creamery Organic Chocolate Milk Shot

Dark, bold, mature cocoa flavor that is drinkable through the wondrous confluence of science and agriculture. It’s the perfect size (4.5oz / 135mL) for something so indulgent, in that it not only prevents over exposure, but it forces one to drink it slowly and truly appreciate the experience. The future of chocolate milk for adults, and perhaps the future of dessert itself.