Alluring combination of thin viscosity and velvety creaminess, paired with a subtle malt and honeyish sweetness— it knows it’s good but refuses to boast.
Hollandia Dairy Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Much like your average co-worker: acceptably competent, slightly boring, and not worth introducing to your sister.
Top O' The Morn Farms Chocolate Milk
Sweet, creamy, malty, chocolaty— perhaps in that order— it all adds up to a delicious chocolate milk that, despite its plus ratings in most categories, doesn’t stand out terribly far in any one aspect. A few moments post-swallow, you get a little bit of film that carries a drying property, but that’s a minor gripe considering the overall excellent package.
Alexandre Family Farm Organic Chocolate Milk
Powerful flavor comes at the expense of a heavy dose of chalk. Such strong cocoa presence, that it feels like the individual grains of powdered cacao are besieging your tongue with ‘total annihilation’ as their collective charter. Despite vigorous shaking, I couldn’t get all the cream to mix in (which would have mitigated some of the grainy coarseness). All things considered, it's a memorably potent and flavorful chocolate milk that has a place in this world as well as my refrigerator shelf.
Broguiere's Chocolate Milk
Thick and ‘hearty’ (I hate that word), with a lingering sweetness and prominent vanilla flavor. I'm guessing that the thickness is its most beloved feature by the Broguiere’s faithful, but it feels a bit overplayed and not reinforced with enough chocolate or accessible creaminess (it goes down in gulps rather than a seamless dispersion from mouth to throat) to compete with the elite.
Straus Family Creamery Organic Chocolate Milk
Wow— super strong cocoa flavor, paired with a mature, undersweet sourness that delivers a haymaker of deliciousness! It offers what I desire most in chocolate milk exceedingly well— creaminess unencumbered by viscosity, brilliantly indulgent and punchy mature cocoa flavor, and a unique had-nearly-one-thousand-chocolate-milks-but-nothing-quite-like-this factor that puts this into rarefied orbit for me.
Kirkland Signature Organic Chocolate Milk
Slight powdery chocolate quality that leaves some grainy residue when it's all said and done, but it’s a bit creamier and more chocolaty than average. Not bad for a highly portable, financially reasonable organic chocolate milk.
Morning Fresh Premium Chocolate Milk
Warmly creamy and a pleasant maltier cocoa quality that stands apart from many over-sweetened, candified chocolate flavors. It has a bit of fine grain to the texture, but the cream disperses extraordinarily well, causing you to bask in the afterglow of each sip.
Sarah Farms Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Mild sweetness monopolizes the otherwise smooth experience. There’s a nicely thin and silky texture, but the flavor is largely uninteresting.
Plains Dairy Premium Chocolate Milk
Excellent all-around flavor and texture, shading a bit to the sweet end of things, but it still feels responsible and focused on tasting how chocolate milk should. A salty snap puts a welcome finish on each sip— it’s a cheap date, but one you’ll look forward to taking out.
Sarah Farms Decadent Chocolate Milk
Densely packed and somewhat of a chalky feel— the flavor isn’t as bold as one might expect ‘decadent’ to deliver— but rather it’s a deeper, more sophisticated chocolate experience that improves over time. The sweetness and cocoa are balanced very well and provide lasting flavor beyond the swig.
Farmer's All Natural Chocolate Milk
Straightforward chocolate taste that is hands-down the star of the show. It’s competently creamy, a bit chalky, very much under-sweet (in a good way), and abundantly chocolaty. More chocolate milk brands should take notice— high chocolate and lower sweetness lends itself to a responsible, yet indulgent feel that really brandishes chocolate milk’s potential appeal to a more adult audience.
Fairlife Yup! Rich Chocolate Milk
Relatively thin and smooth texture dons the Fairlife / Yup signature flavor that most chocolate milk fans are well familiar with. It's sweet and finishes with an aftertaste that becomes increasingly unlike chocolate milk, dragging the overall experience a notch below median.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Milk
Not nearly the same maturely sour and chocolaty Borden dutch chocolate milk I purchased in South Carolina (a different formulation). It’s still very enjoyable, thanks to a heavy dose of cream and salt.
Whataburger Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Smooth, pleasantly sweet and amply chocolaty for the task it’s set to achieve. It doesn't take any risks, but goes well with a #1 combo from Whataburger (sans pickle, of course).
Trader Joe's Chocolate Milk
Brilliant cocoa flavor and thin yet creamy delivery system. It’s plenty sweet, but backed by a strong and genuine chocolate presence, there’s an awful lot to like here.
Mill-King CaCow Milk
Thin, grassy, and prominently acidic. The flavor immediately retreats to the center-rear of your tongue, and the sharp acidity makes the mouth water, more in defense than anticipation. One of the more unique chocolate milks I’ve had, both in terms of flavor and ingredients.
HEB Chocolate Milk
Creamy and chocolaty to be sure, and a pleasantly restrained sweetness that helps it to feel more mature. It's chalky, and doesn't disperse as beautifully as one would hope-- but all things considered, it’s pretty darn good.
HEB MooTopia Chocolate Milk
Immediate flavor rushes in with each sip— a rather welcome guest that stays just a bit too long. The artificial sweeteners are present but on good behavior, and despite a chalky medium, there’s plenty to like about this. It’s strongly salty, which outlasts the other flavors for the most part, but makes it easy to return for more.
HEB Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Feels artificially thick— 1% milk fat doesn’t do this on its own. Aside from the slightly inauthentic texture, the flavor is pleasantly sweet and box-checkingly average on the cocoa side of things. Some might appreciate the thickened viscosity— it’s not egregious, but noticeable if you’re afflicted with a similar sensitivity.