Sarah Farms Decadent Chocolate Milk

Densely packed and somewhat of a chalky feel— the flavor isn’t as bold as one might expect ‘decadent’ to deliver— but rather it’s a deeper, more sophisticated chocolate experience that improves over time. The sweetness and cocoa are balanced very well and provide lasting flavor beyond the swig.

Farmer's All Natural Chocolate Milk

Straightforward chocolate taste that is hands-down the star of the show. It’s competently creamy, a bit chalky, very much under-sweet (in a good way), and abundantly chocolaty. More chocolate milk brands should take notice— high chocolate and lower sweetness lends itself to a responsible, yet indulgent feel that really brandishes chocolate milk’s potential appeal to a more adult audience.

Fairlife Yup! Rich Chocolate Milk

Relatively thin and smooth texture dons the Fairlife / Yup signature flavor that most chocolate milk fans are well familiar with. It's sweet and finishes with an aftertaste that becomes increasingly unlike chocolate milk, dragging the overall experience a notch below median.

Mill-King CaCow Milk

Thin, grassy, and prominently acidic. The flavor immediately retreats to the center-rear of your tongue, and the sharp acidity makes the mouth water, more in defense than anticipation. One of the more unique chocolate milks I’ve had, both in terms of flavor and ingredients.

HEB Chocolate Milk

Creamy and chocolaty to be sure, and a pleasantly restrained sweetness that helps it to feel more mature. It's chalky, and doesn't disperse as beautifully as one would hope-- but all things considered, it’s pretty darn good.

HEB MooTopia Chocolate Milk

Immediate flavor rushes in with each sip— a rather welcome guest that stays just a bit too long. The artificial sweeteners are present but on good behavior, and despite a chalky medium, there’s plenty to like about this. It’s strongly salty, which outlasts the other flavors for the most part, but makes it easy to return for more.

HEB Low Fat Chocolate Milk

Feels artificially thick— 1% milk fat doesn’t do this on its own. Aside from the slightly inauthentic texture, the flavor is pleasantly sweet and box-checkingly average on the cocoa side of things. Some might appreciate the thickened viscosity— it’s not egregious, but noticeable if you’re afflicted with a similar sensitivity.

Feliciana's Best Creamery Cream Line Chocolate Milk

Brilliantly creamy with a hint of wildness to it that is reminiscent of grass-fed cows (it’s not labeled as such, so I don’t know for sure). Cream and chocolate are much more prominent than salt or malt; it’s decadent enough to serve after dinner or to use as a temptation device for getting out of bed in the morning. Avoid lunchtime though. (Just kidding.)

Kleinpeter Chocolate Milk

Surprisingly muted sweetness, which affords the cocoa flavor an untethered frolic across your tastebuds. It carries a mature-feeling indulgence rather than an adolescent ‘candification’— it's well balanced in this regard and remains drinkable beyond those situations merely requiring a quick sugar fix.

Food Club Chocolate Milk

Creamy, smooth, and desserty without being overpoweringly flavorful in any direction. Malt is the most notable feature, and it’s executed well enough that pining for more chocolate would be an unlikely and perhaps unreasonable response.

Happy Cow Creamery Chocolate Milk

Highly unique, vanilla-forward punch will make your cup runneth over with flavor. Chocolate soon follows, hitting that 'melted ice cream' flavor that is a lot less common (for chocolate milk) than one might assume. It's non-homogenized base far outperforms the bog-standard supermarket whole milk, and is fully burdened with a novel vanilla-choc flavor profile, explosive sweetness, and a generous (albeit tertiary) creamy kick.

Working Cows Dairy Chocolate Milk

Wow- quite an interesting experience! It’s an odd combination of very thin (almost watery) and yet it carries a strong wild / grass-fed flavor that stands out. Its non-homogenous dark gray coloration really sets it apart as well. I usually reward uniqueness when it comes to the scores, but in this case, the flavor just isn’t what I’m looking for in a chocolate milk. That said, I will remember this product for a long time, and recommend chocolate milk lovers to give it the ol’ college try if you’re able.