Milsani Chocolade Melk

Chalky, but fairly creamy. Unfortunately carries a modest sour undertone that is not one of dark chocolate, but one that approaches (but doesn't breach) the boozy zone. It’s a minor gripe, but noticeable when compared with several peers in one sitting.

Milsani Chocolade Melk Vol

Has a unique light and airy feel to it, which stands out among other whole chocolate milks. It manages to maintain a smooth, easy-flowing texture and adequate depth of flavor. In no way is this watery, despite the thinness you will notice. Good stuff.

Chocomel (NL)

Reminds me of Cacaolat, it’s very flavorful and leaves an aftertaste as well as a bit of a film in the mouth. The texture is pretty grainy, but it’s for a reason— there’s a lot of taste going on here. It’s easy to want more.

Jumbo Chocolade Melk Vol

Thicker but relatively full of flavor, which makes the viscosity compromise much less of an issue. Not too many other surprises, but it achieves what it sets out to do— provide a solid chocolate milk at a low, private-label price.

Tine E+ Plussdrikk Med Kakao

An absolute onslaught of flavor (and calories)! Each sip ends with salty whack that will cause your tongue to water-- a very interesting experience. There's so much packed into this drink that it screams for dilution— it’s the most caloric chocolate milk I’ve ever had (that doesn't have chocolate pieces suspended in it), and one that I will remember for years to come.

Tine YT Melk Og Kakao

Tastes and feels exactly like a protein drink, which won't win any flavor contests. Vitamin-y taste and dense, slightly syrupy texture— I feel like I’ve had this same product many times from various different packages.

Tine Uten Tilsatt Sukker Kakao

Manages the ‘unsweet’ aspect rather well, as the liquid cascades easily down the hatch with nary a fight. There’s not a lot of flavor; the highlight being a malty finish that becomes evident only in retrospect, but the fact that it's not offensive earns some points given its rather austere nutritional stats.

Tine Sjokoladesmak Milkshake

Wow— after all the ‘milkshakes’ I’ve had in the ~230mL cup, I was prepared for this to be terrible. Couldn’t have been further off! The texture is milky, not over-emulsified sludge, and the flavor is malty, amply chocolaty, salty, sweet, and an absolute pleasure to drink. Perfectly nails the milkshake taste in a container you can take home, store in the fridge, and open when your day needs drastic improvement.

Tine Sjokomelk

Instead of chocolate, I’m getting more of a fake kettle corn flavor (is there true kettle corn flavor?). No qualms about the texture, but in sampling side-by-side with other chocolate milks, the strange flavor becomes increasingly evident.

Tine Litago Uten Sjokolademelk

More of a milky flavor than anything else— definitely light on chocolate, cream, and anything else worth your time, save a maltiness that is prominent despite feeling a little forced. It finishes clean, and is easy to snatch another sip— shit, they get progressively better..

Tine Litago & Stratos Milkshake

Oddly seems to amount to less than the sum of its parts, possibly due to my aversion to ‘thickened' products. It’s very sweet and chocolaty, but the sweetness causes the cocoa to veer undesirably into ‘candy’ territory. It’s more salty than creamy, and feels a bit artificial in the mouth.

Tine Litago Lett Sjokolademelk

Less sweetness and cream than the Original version, but the flavor doesn't suffer in proportion because the cocoa is allowed more of the limelight and it works well. This isn’t a product that will blow your tastebuds’ collective mind, but given the nutritional stats, this tastes about as good as you could hope.

McEnnedy Chocolate Milkshake

Highly emulsified, unnatural feel, and a super-sweet, melted-marshmallow-esque flavor that is noticeably better than others I’ve had in this genre (American Style, Milbona Shake, etc.). I would expect young kids to enjoy this, but then again, young kids sometimes enjoy finger-painting with their own feces.