Sweet and dense, feels like it lives up to the “54g carbs per portion” billing. I can think of a lot more enjoyable ways to spend this caloric onslaught, but I will admit this is an awfully fast (and painless) way to 350 calories.
SportyFeel Protein Drink Chocolate Lactose Free
A protein drink that understands moderation and uses it effectively to create relatively smooth, adequately flavorful and appropriately sweet experience.
Nutrilett Smart Meal Rich Chocolate Flavoured Shake
Somewhat velvety feel (initially) and a flavor that approaches cocoa, then skulks away to a nearby damp corner. Eventually, the chalk becomes evident, but by then, you begin to warm to the flavor, and the texture is still pseudo-milky but not to an egregious extent. Mixed feelings, but overall it tasted better than most with low expectations would…expect.
Arla Kaakao-Maito Juoma
Smells like dirt, but to say that it tastes like dirt would be insincere flattery. It’s foreseeably under-sweet, chalky, significantly earthy, and thoroughly avoidable.
Mad-Croc Milk Cacao Energy Drink
Creamy taste, milky feel, and plenty of cocoa flavor to boot. You wouldn’t know that this drink comes from a can. You also wouldn’t know that it contains taurine / caffeine-- that is, until after you're finished, when your tongue feels a little numbed, and there's a little extra bounce in your step.
Power Cow Milk Shake Chokladsmak
Strong cocoa flavor that layers nicely with a creamy taste, capped off with appropriate levels of sweet and salt. It's super thick, especially if you shake for the recommended 30 seconds, and that is the lone (but significant) drawback. It feels more indulgent than the nutrition information would suggest, which is impressive; if you like thickness, prioritize this shake over most others in Europe.
Teho Sport Palautusjuoma Suklaa
Tastes like you'd expect a high protein drink would— undersweet, under chocolaty, over ‘enriched' (multi-vitaminy)-- none of which approach an extreme level (thankfully). The texture is dense and starchy, but not too drying. I've had a lot worse, but tastewise, it’s still sub par in the chocolate milk category.
Ehrmann High Protein Shot Chocolate
Creamy, almost 'airy' feel-- which is unique, as most protein-enriched chocolate milks feel dense or gummy. Lightly sweet with identifiable cocoa, this is a welcome surprise as it doesn't carry too much unnecessary baggage from a flavor standpoint. Definitely feels more indulgent than the label lets on.
Pirkka Pro Suklaa
Chalky, but still more milky than most other protein drinks out there. There’s a sharpness to the cocoa that feels just a tad off, but all things considered, it's a fairly decent tasting protein-enriched chocolate milk.
Weetabix On the Go Chocolate
Plenty of grit, plenty of other reasons to never drink this again. No sweetness, no cocoa, no salt, moderate cream. Weetabix is a popular brand in the UK, and this product perfectly conveys the British value of 'suffering for the sake of doing so.’ Drink this for ‘street cred’ if you must, but if it’s flavor you’re after, you're better off tonguing the coin return slot of a bus station payphone.
Valio Play Maito Kaakao Mjolkkakaodryck (250mL)
Super thin, smooth, and more sweet than anything else, though there is a background cocoa presence. It goes down very quickly, in part due to the chug-friendly viscosity, and also due to the fervency with which you will search for deeper flavor (only to come up short).
Valio Plus Maito-Kaakao
This is how I'd expect chocolate milk to taste if it came from an artesian well. A moderate amount of cream is about all that separates this from spring water.
Valio Pro Maito Kaakao Mjolkkakaodryck UHT
Noticeably different from the fresh version(s), despite identical ingredients and nutritional info. The shelf-stable version has a thicker texture, and a sour note that makes it taste less sweet and a tad more complex. I still prefer the fresh version as I feel the consistency is more true.
Valio Play Maito Kaakao Mjolkkakaodryck
Super thin, smooth, and more sweet than anything else, though there is a background cocoa presence. It goes down very quickly, in part due to the chug-friendly viscosity, and also due to the fervency with which you will search for deeper flavor (only to come up short).
Hot Chocolate 2 Go
Watery, warm, and chocolaty in a way that a vending machine hot chocolate is. Definitely not offensive, the cocoa tastes as it should, it’s just not a viable substitute for chocolate milk.
Aasa Sokolaadi Piimajook Mjau
Creamy, chocolaty, and sweet— a very welcome find here in a rather chocolate milk deprived area of the world. Reminiscent of the Miau I had in Vilnius, this hits all the notes and feels authentic throughout.
Jaani Kakao Kondenspiim
Doesn't mix terribly easily with milk (both being cold) and when it does it adds a little color and sweetness to the milk, but not much else— especially in terms of chocolate. Probably better as a baking ingredient (?) or undiluted ice cream or dessert topping.
Rainbow Proteindryck Choklad
There’s a strange intensity to the flavor, which feels like it should burn, but doesn’t. The texture is definitely more milky than otherwise— a welcome difference to the normal protein drink, and there is cocoa flavor to be had. After the initial shock of the unique flavor, it becomes more palatable with each swallow.
Fast Protein Milkshake
Dense, chalky, and though not terribly ‘sweet’— the presence of artificial sweeteners is disturbingly evident, to the extent that it is the first and last thing you taste.
A. Le Coq Arctic Sport Proteiinjook Banana-Sokolaadi
Sweet banana scent that accurately represents the flavor as well. It's decidedly toward the banana end of the spectrum (versus the chocolate end) but is smooth enough to sip without any red flags.