Very sweet and (only) slightly rummy. Thickened but quite smooth and goes down very well. Lots of flavor, would benefit from toning the sweetness down a level or two.
Promised Land Dairy Midnight Chocolate Milk
Buttery and chocolaty; calling it ‘overindulgent’ seems like a knock, but it actually is a bit too much. First sip is a blast of flavor, fourth sip is guilt inducing. Fifth was tasty with a side of regret. Buttery reside coats the mouth, glottis, and whatever else came in close contact.
Kroger 1% Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Extremely sweet, and leaves a bit of a residue on the inside of the mouth. There is some cocoa flavor, but the sweetness is overpowering. Also seems a bit artificially thickened for only a 1% fat version.
Horizon Organic Chocolate Lowfat Milk (UHT)
Thicker than expected, not overly sweet, and cocoa flavor is extremely difficult to locate. The predominant flavor is ‘milkiness’ which may appeal to some, but generally, there’s little here to appeal to anyone.
Ripple Chocolate
Tastes like you’d expect something that has ‘pea protein’ as the second ingredient would. Pretty awful if expecting chocolate milk, though it’s truly not a fair comparison as this is a non-dairy product and should be out of scope. My curiosity was the only thing satisfied here.
Horizon Organic DHA Omega-3 Low Fat Chocolate Milk
A honey-like sweetness is the main feature of this incredibly pale, gray milk. Nary a hint of chocolate, but the salty/sweet combo helps to prop up the overall rating.
Fairlife Chocolate Reduced Fat Ultra-Filtered Milk
Does an adequate job of hiding the artificial sweeteners and might be the best option so far in terms of a ‘better for you’ version of chocolate milk. It’s thin, smooth, and easily drinkable with noticeable cocoa flavor and adequate cream.
Nestle Nesquik Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Has that signature Nesquik starchy/plasticky thickness, and an aftertaste that feels artificial. There is cocoa present, and it is more flavorful than the fat-free version, but still below average.
Hershey's 2% Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Solid chocolate flavor delivered through a nicely thin, creamy medium. There is a bit of grain throughout, but it does not detract from the tasty experience. Strong across the board.
Pittsford Farms Dairy Chocolate Milk
Very unique cocoa taste that borders on malty/chalky/powdery. It’s not off-putting, just different from what you might expect. There’s a bit of a grain to it as well, which reinforces the powdery quality to the chocolate taste.
Nestle Nesquik Fat Free Chocolate Milk
Unnatural thickness dominates the experience— there’s plenty of sweetness but very little else. Fairly hollow and unsatisfying.
Nestle Nesquik Double Chocolate Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Similar (over) thickness issues as with the fat free version, but much more prevalent cocoa flavor. This would benefit from the addition of salt and/or creamy notes, which are essentially non existent.
Upstate Farms Low Fat Chocolate Milk
A bit light on the cocoa flavor but everything else is there and well balanced, maybe a tad too high on the sweetness end. Very thin and smooth as well which makes the drinking experience much more pleasurable.
Hood Calorie Countdown 2% Chocolate Dairy Beverage
Tastes like you’re drinking water that sat for years in a rusty sink. The sucralose aftertaste is horrendous and makes you seriously reconsider a second sip. I took about 5, regretting each one more than the last.
Wegmans Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and salty and lacking in direct cocoa flavor. Inoffensive and very average.
Upstate Farms Intense Chocolate Milk (Low Fat)
Cloyingly sweet (to a fault) and decently creamy for a low fat version. It had a much more vanilla-like quality to me as I could not easily identify the chocolate flavor. Tastes great as a first sip due to the powerful sweetness, but quickly wears thin.
Upstate Farms Intense Chocolate Milk (Whole)
Powerfully sweet and (as advertised) intensely chocolaty— the chocolate ice cream picture on the label is an accurate representation of what you’re about to enjoy. Tons of flavor, decidedly on the sweeter side of indulgence, but rewarding nonetheless.
Natrel Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk (UHT)
A slightly more sour than sweet taste which meshes well with the strong cocoa flavor. It is quite chalky and leaves a decent bit of residue on the glass, but it manages to deliver good flavor.
Organic Valley Chocolate Low Fat Milk (UHT)
Very salty and otherwise flavorless— a far cry from what you would expect. There is a creamy presence as well but without anything else to balance against, this is an unfortunate miss.
Immergut Kakao
Watery and has a fortified taste to it— sort of ‘tinny’ or mineraly. Feels unnatural when it hits the back of the throat. It’s a less-flavorful YooHoo, and probably belongs in metal and not glass.