A velvety creaminess wrests control of the wheel and steers you though each sip— a blissful ride that unfortunately ends with an empty glass.
All in USA
Cream-O-Land Dairy Extra Rich & Creamy Chocolate Milk
Great milky texture and cream quotient, but in lieu of cocoa flavor is a bland sweetness that feels lost. In some ways it reminds me of a white jellybean— you taste it, and kind of like it, but have no idea what ‘flavor’ it really is.
Elmhurst Dairy Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Possibly as average a chocolate milk in all respects that I’ve had thus far. It’s plainly identifiable as chocolate milk by all 5 senses and peppers the midsection of each subjective category.
Nutrament Chocolate
Has an almost pinkish-brown coloration, and is super-sweet above all else. I can’t locate much of any cocoa flavor— just a thin, sugary drink that emulates milk fairly well, but won’t satisfy your chocolate craving one iota.
Sport Shake Chocolate
Lots of flavor— especially salty/sweet, which provides a ‘malted milkshake’ like taste that, while amped up pretty high, doesn’t offend or feel terribly out of place. It does have a weighty feel to it, but overall it’s reminiscent of a very sweet milkshake.
Byrne Dairy Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Not overly chocolaty but smooth, creamy, and malty for a lowfat chocolate milk. The salt is at least as prominent as the sweetness which maintains a drinkable balance that comes off as genuine.
Byrne Dairy Chocolate Milk (236mL carton)
No chocolate whatsoever, and a modest sourness that lands in the back of the throat. It’s sort of creamy, but honestly tastes too much like its container.
Byrne Dairy Chocolate Milk (1.89L glass)
Ahh.. Has that same salt/malt combination that I had come to expect from Byrne Dairy— it’s outstanding. The chocolate piece is subtle, but you’re unlikely to care much as everything else is great. Reminiscent of Heidi in Switzerland, which is high praise.
TruMoo High Protein Cookies n' Cream Lowfat Milk
A highly salty and slightly cardboard-y take on the cookies-n-cream flavor (it compares poorly to the Hershey’s versions). The sweetness and cream help the drinkability considerably, but it’s far inferior to its chocolate counterpart.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake Light
Mildly metallic aftertaste that dissipates quickly, but the chalkiness is slower to vanish. From a flavor standpoint, it’s under sweetened an under salted; not recommended for recreational consumption.
Galliker's Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Sweetish start, and relatively watery conclusion to each sip. It neither stands above nor dips below ‘average’ in any major way.
McDonald's Milk Jug Fat Free Chocolate Milk
Watery with a powdery chocolate taste and feel. It’s identifiable as chocolate milk— that might be the most positive thing I can say about it. At least it is a relatively sensible option as far as chocolate milk goes. Ok, so that’s 2 positive things.
Organic Valley Organic Fuel High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Extremely chalky, very mildly chocolaty, and relatively unsweet— I applaud the uniqueness in flavor and the aim towards ‘better for you’— but there is little reason to pursue this version for taste alone.
Hershey's White Chocolate Flavored Milk
Tastes more like a melted vanilla Jell-o pudding pop than anything else. It’s not a bad flavor, just devoid of chocolate (come on— white chocolate isn’t really legit), high on sweetness, and gimmicky enough to get me to purchase the 3-pack.
Guida's Super Premium Chocolate Milk
Mature cocoa flavor that won't beat you over the head but will keep you intrigued, as the creaminess fully supports the flavor and distributes it evenly across all of your taste receivers. Delightful.
Stop & Shop Chocolate Low Fat Milk
Pale, lightly sweet, and otherwise bland. Reminds me of lowfat TruMoo, which isn’t generally a good thing. Lacking cocoa and any other kind of flavorful jolt that would maintain one’s interest.
Guida's Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Chocolaty with a tiny sour note, not at all offensive. There’s a noticeable grain to the texture but it doesn’t detract from the pleasant flavor.
Arruda's Dairy Farms Chocolate Milk
Really odd cocoa flavor that dissipates quickly— perhaps because the fat content doesn't seem to deliver on the creamy expectations the numbers might provide. It has great aesthetics, but for me, doesn't deliver on the chocolaty or creamy hopes that you might have for it.
Lucerne Protein+ Reduced Calorie Chocolate Flavored Dairy Beverage
The sweetness has a sharp bite to it that carries on into the aftertaste and wrests control of the entirety of the drink. From a texture standpoint, it’s grainy and unnecessarily thick. Can’t recommend this one.
Harris Dairy Farm Chocolate Milk
Chocolaty and (perhaps a bit too) sweet, which is good enough to put it above average. The thickness is more prominent than the creaminess (I prefer the reciprocal) but overall it feels indulgent, dessert-y, and is a fine way to spend a couple minutes or a few hundred calories.