Not very sweet, or chocolaty, or malty, or… really anything. It passes as chocolate milk, albeit a very bland one.
All in USA
Sir Bananas Chocolate Bananamilk
Much more banana than chocolate, and an interesting combination of textures— thick but very smooth. If you like bananas (or banana flavor), you will enjoy this, for chocolate lovers— look elsewhere. A competent drink though.
Yoohoo Chocolate Drink (can)
Ugly white foam across the top eventually dissipated, but the flavor remained the same sweet, watery, familiar, candyish chocolate that we all associate with Yoohoo.
Yoohoo Chocolate Drink (box)
Seemed slightly less sweet (and therefore better balanced) than the bottled and canned versions. You’d be hard-pressed to notice unless trying all 3 versions side-by-side (which I’m doing..)— but this version is my preferred for what it's worth.
Muscle Milk Light Chocolate
Smoother texture than the non-light versions, and the horrendous taste is muted to enough of an extent that it *improves* the score. It’s the darkest product I’ve sampled thus far— reminiscent of crude oil.
Muscle Milk Genuine Chocolate
Awful chemical taste, very grainy and unnatural feeling texture. I don't see how people can drink this voluntarily.
Muscle Milk Knockout Chocolate
Grainier, slightly more natural feeling than the ‘Genuine’ Muscle Milk, but still hard to get down. Lots of grit in the teeth after each reluctant swallow.
Monster Muscle Monster Chocolate Energy Shake
Smells like turpentine, looks like coffee, tastes like a bit of a mixture of the two. There is a little bit of a creamy component that is welcomed, but the overwhelmingly dominant flavor is a sour/rummy/chemically taste that lingers in the mouth beyond what you’d hope.
Core Power High Protein Chocolate Milk Shake
Unnaturally thick texture which doesn't feel milky. It is reminiscent of Fairlife, but definitely not an improvement (despite a little more protein and a bit more sugar). Mild metallic aftertaste is thankfully fleeting.
Nestle Nesquik Protein Plus Chocolate
Plasticky texture and a candy-like sweetness that is hard to stomach. The ’28% less sugar’ claim I feel is a bit misleading, and regardless, there are items with half the sugar that taste much better.
Howling Cow PowerPack Protein Fortified Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Remarkably thin and smooth for a protein-fortified chocolate milk. All the flavors are congruent with what you'd expect; a nice surprise in its difference among its fortified peers, yet conformity to a chocolate milk paradigm.
Organic Valley Organic Balance Dark Chocolate Milk Protein Shake
Very sour and slightly bitter cocoa taste that takes a few sips to acclimate to— and by the time you’ve adjusted, the bottle is gone.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Refuel Protein Chocolate Milk Beverage
So sweet, but so unnatural. Theres a super-strong fake-honey flavor that then morphs into a mouth-watering (not in a good way) cloying reaction. I think the tongue is trying to secrete as much saliva as it can to escort this product off of it as soon as possible.
TruMoo High Protein Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Much saltier and more flavorful than other TruMoo products I've had— perhaps that is a big part of what they were missing. Chocolate isn’t too prominent, but a strong maltiness is well executed and a pleasure to drink.
Lidl Chocolate Milk
One of the most generic-looking packages I've seen, but the taste is actually quite punchy— lots of sweetness, adequate cocoa, decent amount of salt, and an almost caramel-y finish that works pretty well.
TruMoo PET Chocolate Whole Milk
Rich experience that could benefit from stronger cocoa flavor, but the proportions work well enough to warrant future pursuit.
Maola by Marva Maid Chocolate Lowfat Milk (1.89L)
There's something off about the texture— it’s fairly smooth but feels like it refuses to disperse naturally. It’s moderately sweet but has no other distinguishable flavors going on.
Sealtest Chocolate Milk
Very well rounded and carries a noticeable maltiness that brings each sip to a satisfying conclusion.
Hershey's 2% Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk (325mL UHT)
Solid chocolate flavor delivered through a nicely thin, creamy medium. There is a bit of grain throughout, but it does not detract from the tasty experience. Strong across the board.
TruMoo Mayfield 1% Chocolate Milk
Straightforward, slightly on the bland side, but competent 1% chocolate milk with little to write home or complain about.