Uniquely under-sweet for the genre, and seriously devoid of any cocoa flavor. It drinks like a subtle mint milk with a pleasant, cooling undertone-- not offensive by any means, but feels slightly unfulfilling for a limited-time, festive concoction.
All tagged 5.5
Lucerne Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Average two-percent build with nice aesthetics and a lighter cocoa flavor than the attractive medium brown color suggests. The sweet/salty balance feels right, and it's pleasantly bland-- this won't offend anyone save those looking for a cocoa buzz.
Morning Fresh Farms Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Nicely smooth with a sharp upfront sweetness that trails off to a decently strong cocoa flavor, leaving you in a more favorable and satisfying position than its inauspiciously oversweet kickoff would suggest. That's a lot of language for a modestly above-par lowfat chocolate milk; more than happy to reserve my brevity for some thing more remarkable (good or bad).
Weigel's Cookies & Cream Milk
Predictably sweet throughout, with an early-peaking cookies & cream flavor that recedes in time for the sweetness to finish out the latter half of the sip. The base feels substantial without chalky residue, though it lacks the soul and staying power of its more sophisticated creamline peers. In short, pick it up if you love cookies & cream, or if you have a demanding sweet tooth that needs to be put in its place.
Ten Finns Creamery Chocolate Milk
The rare, non-homogenous 2% body is by far its strongest attribute, and, well-- perhaps its only distinguishable attribute. While I appreciate the thin, creamier-than-it-should-be milky base, it could shoulder a ton more flavor than it is tasked with. Minnesota is known for relatively bland palates, and aside from a light stationery flavor (think licking a greeting card-- kinda satisfying, I know)-- it's difficult to locate much of a cocoa flavor at all. I want it to be there. I want to like this more than I do. I want to like myself more than I do. I identify with this chocolate milk: only modestly above average on its best day.
Homestead Creamery Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Very smooth and drinkable reduced fat chocolate milk with a sweet cocoa flavor that is not quite 'fruity' but a bit hard to put my finger on. It's mildly distracting, and I'm still attempting to reconcile the gap between what I like in a cocoa flavor, and what we've got here.
Gossner Foods Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Upfront blast of sweetness followed by a cooked milk flavor that carries through to the aftertaste. The high degree of sweetness overpowers the rest of the experience and ultimately feels a bit hollow. On the positive side, its reduced fat base feels substantial and is certainly preferable to a lowfat or nonfat alternative.
Dagostin's Milkhouse Creamery Chocolate Milk
Nicely built with good aesthetics, though the flavor has more of an indirect cocoa flavor that steers almost 'hazelnutty' to me. This may be more of a feature than a bug for some, I find it more distracting than off-putting.
Good 2 Grow Organic Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Predictable sourish cocoa flavor with a noticeable cooked milk flavor-- pretty standard fare for a mass-produced low fat, organic, shelf-stable chocolate milk. It doesn't offend, but both calories and attention are better spent elsewhere.
Kerber's Dairy Chocolate Milk
Somewhat salty upfront pop, with a sweet, almost malty flavor in the latter half. There's something novel going on here, and not in a way that hits me in the right way. It's under-chocolaty for sure, and the primary 'flavor' is hard to pin down, and I'm not sure it's worth the search. Texture-wise, it's full and smooth for a whole chocolate milk-- it drinks nicely, and the base is its most favorable feature in my opinion.
Turner's Brownie Batter Milk
Sweet to a nigh-painful extent-- and fortunately paired with an accurate chocolate-brownie that can nearly match its intensity. Strongly recommend diluting this with whole milk in order to bring the flavors closer to the middle of the sensory bell curve, where you can appreciate them in reasonable proportion. Drinkable brownie batter is an ambitious undertaking, and they've done well to capture both the sentiment and the potential health perils that lie in wait.
Shamrock Farms Swirled Chocolate & Coconut Milk
Smoothly subtle flavor that starts mildly malty and ends with a coconutty cameo which fades in gracefully and fades out before you're ready for the exit. It's a very unique flavor combination, and pulled off fairly deftly, though it leaves you wanting a bit more punch. Texture-wise, it finishes with a drying, astringent quality easily remedied by taking another sip...that is, until there's no more left.
Stonyfield Organic Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk
Shockingly sweet upon first draw, aided in part by the thin viscosity-- which delivers a quick sugary rush with later-developing cocoa presence and moderately-drying chalky footprint. For an organic, shelf-stable, lactose free chocolate milk, it gets the job done and would add a crowning touch to the bog-standard bagged lunch.
Cloverland Farms Dairy Chocolate Milk
Immediately sweet, and aside from a fleeting hit of cocoa, there's not much else to the experience. Hold that thought-- there's a bit of a syrupy sting to the uvula a few seconds after the swallow.
Shoprite Bowl & Basket Chocolate Milk
Make 'em laugh, make 'em cry… but make 'em feel…something. This looks gray, and tastes, well, gray as well. There's not much to report from a flavor standpoint, it's effectively drinkable ennui. It feels pretty good, though, and is not over sweet or funky in any way whatsoever. It's just...there. I think I broke the record for ellipses in this review, so it's at least memorable for that reason...
Friendly Farms Protein + Chocolate Milk
More creamy and chocolaty than sweet-- a pleasant ratio in that regard. Texture-wise, there's a drying, chalky finish with significant legs that outlasts the prematurely-exiting cream, leaving the overall score teetering on the very edge of mediocrity.
Zeal Grass Milk Creamery Chocolate Milk
Thick, creamy texture with a prominent grassy presence, hint of honey sweetness and a back-end Stevia bite. The search for any semblance of cocoa flavor lasted for 3 cups and was ultimately called off. I very much appreciate the texture and wildness factor, but simply put, the flavor falls well short of modest expectations and the choice to use Stevia (despite being a natural sweetener) causes a rather unnatural-feeling and suboptimal-tasting experience. Points for uniqueness though.
Nature's Touch Chocolate Milk
Creamier and marginally more flavorful than its low-fat counterpart, but decidedly does not do whole milk justice. Perhaps the ‘nature’ piece of the Nature’s Touch moniker is the high fructose corn syrup, [regular] corn syrup, corn starch, and water. Corn and water are both ‘natural’— so why not..
Mountain Dairy Lowfat Chocolate Milk
It drinks very smoothly and pleasurably but doesn’t move the needle in any given flavor direction, leaving you with a quick, inoffensive way to get some calories down your gullet.
Kimball Brook Farm Organic Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Uniquely thin texture and maturely sour and earthy cocoa flavor— a surprising and welcome addition to / deviation from the bog standard offering of low-fat chocolate milks.