All tagged 5.0
Decidedly average in nearly all facets, this is the dairy version of the straight-line-for-a-mouth-emoji. It's unoffensive, unobtrusive, unimaginative, uninspired. There's a slight astringency to the finish that probably makes it feel a tad chalky, but you have to be looking for it to notice. I suspect most people drinking this aren't searching for something deeper in each sip. I gave up after about 4 myself.
Dead-center, unoffensive, competent but somehow incapable. What do you expect for a Holiday Inn Express breakfast bar? By now, I know exactly what to expect, and this is it. Fulfills modest expectations, and saps motivation from your soul and replaces it with liquid mediocrity. Trying to say something interesting about something uninteresting.
It's hard to say something interesting about something uninteresting-- so I won't try. It tastes exactly what you'd expect lowfat, ultra-high temp pasteurized, mass-produced chocolate milk to taste like-- inoffensively un-chocolaty, forgettably thin, pleasantly smooth, and blandly balanced. If mediocrity was the goal, they knocked it out of the park.
Smooth, lightly chocolaty, unoffensive, rather tolerable. It's saltier than sweet, and otherwise down the middle. Will not cause rapid heartbeat, excitement, depression, lust, anxiety, or any other sensation aside from a burning calm that, if unchecked, can lead to a sunken, empty regret for having played it safe.
One of the better 'no sugar added' chocolate milks I've had thus far. It's not overly chocolaty to be sure, but there's a pleasant, not-too-fakey sweetness that pairs well with the oddly creamy base (for 1%). This punches above its weight class given the constraints it has taken on.
Thin, smooth, highly forgettable. This is the paradigm of chocolate milk for so many young and impressionable school children, and it delivers a dead-average (albeit saltier than average) product that establishes mediocrity, possibly setting the children up for future 'minds blown' moments when they discover decent chocolate milk.
Dead average on so many levels-- certainly identifiable as chocolate milk but aside from a slightly drying finish, there's not much else to point out. It is what you think it is, and if uninspired chocolate milk is your thing, give this your full attention.
Not bad for an institutional, low-fat chocolate milk. The amiable texture carries less sweetness, allowing the creaminess and chocolate to grab the limelight (which is admittedly rather dim). Slight drying sensation several seconds after the swallow, but I've had much worse in the genre.
Smooth and sweet, with an average cocoa flavor and intensity. It’s drinkable, enjoyable while it lasts, but forgettable when it’s gone.
Decently pleasant hot-cocoa-packet flavor in an averagely creamy, mildly chalky base. Sadly, mediocrity rises to the top of the ‘institutional’ market, as this is one of the best chocolate milks I’ve had at a hotel breakfast buffet.
Super forgettable but actually quite decent for the institutional market. It’s nicely smooth, and averagely everything else. The experience peaks at the eye-catching package, and once opened, it quickly retreats to the median.
Thin, fairly smooth, but marked by a sweetish flavor that is reminiscent of chocolate candy flavor. No complaints with the texture or cream levels, but I actually prefer the flavor of the reduced fat version.
Sweet, chocolaty, and not much else. There’s a stickiness to it that is a noticeable departure from ‘milky’ and while the flavor delivers a decent initial jab, it’s fairly 2-dimensional on a 4-dimensional scale (cocoa, sweetness, cream, salt).
Identifiable as low-fat chocolate milk, though the most prominent component is a somewhat empty sweetness. Nothing offensive here, just a bit timid and easily lost in the patently average chocolate milk shuffle.
Mildly creamy, yet chalky and super bland. Chocolate is nowhere to be found, and a faint, pleasant malt flavor struggles in earnest to shine under a dim spotlight. It’s a bit drying to the mouth after each swallow, though a bit more subtle than most other high-protein chocolate milks.
The same, signature Fairlife twang plugged into a more clotted base. The sweetness is distractingly unnatural and significantly hampers the experience. I get that the nutrition stats are attractive (low sugar, high protein) and it serves that market well, but from a flavor standpoint, it doesn’t quite do whole milk justice.
The vanilla extract is definitely prominent, rivaling the cocoa flavor— which makes this a unique, if not slightly hollow chocolate milk experience.
Safely and competently treads the middle ground; you won’t find anything unexpected here, be it for better or worse.
Proof that ‘smoothness’ doesn’t necessarily equate with ‘natural feeling’— it feels like the soul has been ultra-pasteurized right out of it, leaving you with a flat, mediocre, drinkable chocolate milk.
Blissfully average. Does the job that you would expect from a cartoned, institutional-ready chocolate milk. All flavor levels adhere religiously to the median path and vow not to surprise any consumers regardless of their predilections.
