Appropriately thin texture, and seemingly more vanilla flavor than chocolate. It doesn't take long for the high fructose corn syrup twang to surface in the aftertaste, an effect that becomes more noticable as you work your way through the gallon. No need to get that far, unless you're dying of thirst or share a similar chocolate milk psychosis to mine.

Decently smooth, but significantly over-sweet, without a strong enough cocoa contingent to balance things out from an overall flavor standpoint. The heavy-handed sweetness attracts more attention than it should, since it's unfortunately a syrupy sweetness that ages poorly in the fridge and on the palate.

If you're not familiar with the uvular 'twang' that you can get from a strongly high-fructose-corn-syrup-sweetened chocolate milk, then give this a try and you'll know. It's devoid of anything other than a sticky sweetness, and is the dairy equivalent of watching daytime reality TV, which, to be fair, I'm not sure exists. But if it did, it would be like this-- something you know is rotting you from the inside, yet has enough of an appeal to hack some brain stems into consuming it regardless.

A pleasant surprise for a canned, (partially) stevia-sweetened chocolate milk that drinks quickly, albeit a tad unnaturally. It's lightly cocoa flavored, undersweet, and fairly chalky given its thin viscosity. There's a lasting aftertaste that has a sharpness to it, but all in all, outperformed (low) expectations.

Smooth, but egregiously bland. There's not much point to drinking this, unless your tongue is on fire-- and in that case, you have bigger problems than flavorless chocolate milk.

Less overtly sweet than the lowfat version, but same textural woes (sticky, almost-milky) and similar vanilla-forward, blandish flavor that is way under-indexed in cocoa flavor. Sometimes, that can still be good, but not in this case, as there's sadly nothing else worthy of your attention.

Allegedly 'whole' chocolate milk according to the nutrition facts, but you wouldn't know it. It suffers the same flavor struggles as the lowfat and reduced fat versions, just not giving the drinker any reason to continue aside from a quick sugar rush.

Smooth and super bland, and whatever flavor exists is washed away forthwith, leaving you puzzled, unsatisfied, and remorseful now that you have the rest of the gallon to deal with.

Solid representation of what drinking a marshmallow would be like— so if that’s your charter, consider this a must-have. For everyone else, it’s a painfully sweet, much-more-marshmallow-than-chocolate experience, leaving you every bit as empty as the calories you just consumed.