Everything you’d hope for in a chocolate milk— plenty sweet, creamy, chocolaty, salty-- it's delicious and incredibly drinkable.
a2 Milk Chocolate
Adequately creamy, averagely chocolaty, and pleasant— despite a mildly pervasive aura that I can best describe as that slightly minty paste you may or may not have consumed as a child. Texture-wise, it sports a substantial build with a relatively clean, adhesive-free finish.
Publix Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Smooth, sweet, and bland. There's not a very strong chocolate component-- thus it’s like pleasantly sweetened milk.
Orgain Grass Fed Protein Creamy Chocolate Fudge
It's got the 3 Ws in spades— wheaty, watery, and wackness. It’s unsweet to the point of being bitter, and that’s not to accentuate a dark chocolate flavor or something worthwhile. You’re left with a damp cardboard aftertaste that will serve as a stark reminder not to take another sip.
Hatcher Family Dairy Jumpin Jimmy
Tastes a lot less exciting than ‘Jumpin Jimmy’ may suggest— but that’s not a bad thing. What you get here is a relatively undersweet, chalky, chocolaty drink that sports neither a caffeinated nor protein-y flavor. It will give you a bit of a jolt though, if you're not used to it.
Hatcher Family Dairy Chocolate Milk
The first sip said ‘maple syrup’ to me, but as I pressed on, I began to appreciate the cocoa flavor that becomes more evident in the (rather delicious) aftertaste. It’s delectably creamy, fun to drink, and feels indulgent yet not in an overpowering way. Melted ice cream is probably the closest thing.
JD Country Chocolate Milk
Tons of salty malty goodness here, in a creamy medium that enslaves your palate in velvety shackles— you won’t want to break free!
Best Choice Chocolate Milk
Great creamy smoothness aside, there’s a sharpish malt flavor in place of the cocoa— and normally I like a malt flavor, but this one feels a bit misplaced or underdeveloped. All else is very good, but the predominant flavor is still shrouded in mystery.
Best Choice Low Fat Chocolate Milk
Pleasantly average chocolate milk that plays it right down the middle in all categories and doesn’t go into business for itself.
Fairlife Smart Milkshakes Chocolate
Smooth and sweet— but I taste more stevia than honey. It’s not as blatant as some of the other Fairlife products, but neither is the chocolate presence. It could use a heavier dose of salt to bring out the cream, as it’s lacking flavor dimensionality.
Purity Chocolate Milk (pint)
Tons of flavor, with the cocoa nearly in equal proportion to the sweetness— providing a more mature, dessert-y type of feel that makes my heart sing. The creamy base does its job almost too well-- as it’s easy to drink too much of it too fast.
Prairie Farms Chocolate Milk
Strongly sweet, with an almost honey-ish bent; it fits together well with above-average saltiness and a super smooth and creamy medium. More cocoa wouldn’t hurt, but it’s far from broken and no need to fix it-- it’s objectively delicious.
Publix Chocolate Milk
Creamy, sweet, and enjoyable, but don’t expect your chocolate ‘itch’ to get scratched.
Purity Chocolate Milk (quart)
Has the confidence to rein in the sugar and ultimately let the cocoa flourish, with lots of help from the deliciously creamy solvent. It looks and feels substantial, which will make you savor it all the more.
Kroger Chocolate Breakfast Shake
Multivitamin scent and flavor (to a lesser extent), and feels like a mouthful of beach sand. You can chomp on the individual grains during and after each sip, and there’s an audible ‘crunch’ as you do so. It’s chalky, passably chocolaty, and from a taste perspective, you could do a lot worse in the ‘breakfast shake’ category.
Shamrock Farms Rockin' Refuel Lowfat Chocolate Milk
Sweet and chocolaty, with plenty of excusable chalk. The flavor is not to be overlooked here, it is rather strong and true— I must say that I’m both surprised and impressed. Your mouth will dry out from the heavy chalk, but you’ll effortlessly rationalize another sip, and another…
Sir Bananas (UHT)
If you’re paying close attention, you may notice actual tiny bits of banana that buoy to the surface, and you can feel them on your tongue— actually a welcome feature and pleasant surprise. The banana flavor is stronger than the cocoa flavor, but it’s a pleasantly unique drink that can be a nice change of pace.
Horizon Organic High Protein Chocolate Lowfat Milk
Has a unique, sharp malt flavor that outshines the cocoa flavor but should maintain your interest throughout. The powerful malt accentuates the ‘creamy’ aspect over the ‘sweet’ one, and it works rather well here.
Hope Eco-Farms Chocolate Milk from Grassfed Water-Buffalo
Thin, creamy (we cheated by using a blender, as tireless manual shaking couldn’t break up all the chunks of cream), and a prominent but slightly powdery chocolate flavor. The cream is really difficult to incorporate fully, as it becomes foamy and wants to ride atop the drink. As such, the flavor gets washed out toward the end by a watery feel. It’s unique, and not miles apart from cows milk— only the aftertaste hints at difference, be it species or the grassfed-ness.
Hope Eco-Farms Chocolate Milk From Grassfed Sheep
Powerful blast of flavor— cocoa, cream, and a salty butteriness that will cause your tongue to weep: emitting tears more closely associated with joy than sorrow. There’s no goaty twang, but an undeniably unique quality that is both fun and interesting. Once the liquid is gone, you have a drying chalkiness that isn’t terribly off-putting because the tasty flavor lingers alongside. A must-try for fans of chocolate milk!